Heartbroken

After that Caleb seemed distant and with any warning he left by the end of the week. Julia cared little that in doing what she did she broke off her cousin's chances of happiness. No one knew the facts, not even his lovely sister but Caleb James was not the big successful business but a few months ago it had gone sour and Caleb had sadly never learned how to manage his money properly. He still had his livings of the Upper Eastside, a few good suits, and a loyal butler who kept up the appearance that everything was fine but things were not well. Caleb was desperate for money. When he came to Danford Hall he thought he could marry one of the girls, out in this country side no one knew of his disaster. At first he believed Laurel was would be the one after his heart but she seemed cold to him the minute he walked in the door. But the middle daughter, Emmy, was full of spirit, and much more of a delight to be around than any one he had ever met. She was young that was true but with that youth she had not been taught to be a proper woman, the women Caleb usually found to be a bore. But she also had a great love of books and could keep up with him in intellectual conversations and the outer improvements Kathryn had helped with were just an extra addition. He found it to be a perfect match, she being related to the Danford family he was certain she had wealth at least enough to keep him in the life style he was comfortable in. But then to learn she was penniless not even to have a dowry. He could not marry her and live a penniless existence so he left. He was not blind he could ell Emmy favored him and found it best to leave her and not lead her on.

            Though Caleb was not blind to Emmy's feeling he was blind in many other ways. Everyone saw the fondness Emmy and Caleb had for each other and most of the house believed this fondness would lead to an engagement. Even Brandon, who knew Caleb's short attention span believed Caleb had finally found a girl who had tamed him, a girl who had at last made him want to settle down. And when Caleb took off before breakfast with only two lines to explain his actions it was Brandon who saw a crushed Emmy. After Caleb left Emmy was a changed girl. She sort of sulked around the house and she barely had an appetite. While she pretended to be all right it didn't take long for appearance to show the truth. Her eyes were red from crying and she hardly kept her hair in a perfect up do as she had been doing and her skin was pale from the heart ache she felt. She also barely made an appearance during the day until when Grandmother's rules dictated that she be present.

            "Oh Mrs. Cromwell, I do wish I could something to cheer up Miss Emmy's spirit," Kathryn said nearly a week after Caleb had been gone.

            "It is her first real heart break I don't think anything could cheer up her spirits."

            "Stupid Caleb for leaving so abruptly if only he had given a proper goodbye or waited out the season maybe then-"

            "I do not even think that would help Miss James. Emmy knew he was only here for a short time but the time he was her changed her world," Fiona looked over her daughter who had sunk down deep in her chair. "That is what first loves do no matter how long they last."

            " Well if Caleb loves Emmy half as much as she seems to love him then I am sure no distance could separate them. I believe he will go clear up whatever problem has hit and be back in her arms," Kathryn said the words and wanted to believe them more than she actually did.

            Perhaps they could reconcile in Boston Kathryn thought to herself, both Laurel and Emmy would be generously invited to the wedding. They are Nicholas' cousins and it would only make sense to have them at the wedding especially since Emmy has become a particular friend of mine, Kathryn thought. Yes that will be perfect, everyone knows weddings are a good place to meet your future mate or re-meet as the case may be.

            Kathryn shared her thinking first with Nicholas, he did not seem enthused by the idea. He said that the Cromwell girls hardly traveled and were unlikely to travel for such a short time. But Kathryn casted off his negativity for he was a man who hardly thought of romantic ideals. So he kissed her forehead and told her he was happy doing anything that made her happy. Victoria agreed with Kathryn in stating they would of course be invited to the wedding but also agreed with Nicholas that the Cromwell girls probably wouldn't come. Kathryn did not think this to be true, of course they would come. Emmy would leap at the chance to see Caleb again. Everyone in the household except Julia believed Emmy and Caleb belonged together. A wedding would be perfect place to rekindle a love, everyone is more, so it was settled in Kathryn's mind.

            "Boston?! Really?" Emmy cheered up, it was the first sign of happiness since Caleb had left two weeks ago.

            "Of course you have to see Nicholas and I get married, we will be cousins."

            "It sounds too good to be true."

            "Well your mother still has to approve."

            "Oh she will! She wanted to send us to Boston to stay with Aunt Iris?"

            "Another sister?"

            "No Aunt Iris mother's dearest friends. She cared for us when father passed away. Her husband is Alfred Dumont."

            "Dumont?"

            "Do you know them?"

            "By status only. They are just slightly above my social range and I have never met one of their children."

            "They don't have any. Aunt Iris is always so kind to look at us Cromwell girls like her own daughters but believe me they rather have a son to pass on their estate to."

            "Well with your mother's approval it seems like all we have to do is pack up your trunks, you are always welcomed to Boston."

            "No we have to continue Laurel. she does not seem so thrilled with the idea of going to Boston and mother would not let me travel to Boston."

            "Well how hard would it be to convince Laurel?"

            "Pretty hard mother mentioned us going to Boston the night of the Taylor ball and she absolutely refused." 

            "Do no not worry I will think of a plan. I will make sure you get to Boston."

            Emmy was so over joyed she threw her arms around Kathryn's neck.

            "Oh Miss James you are too good to me."

            "Thank you Miss Emmy."

            Emmy's joy was fast fleeting Kathryn was failing at her attempts to convince Laurel to come to Boston and Emmy felt she would never get to Boston. She thought she would die of a broken heart. Caleb had been gone for three weeks and he hadn't written anything not even to say he had arrived safely in New York. Emmy wanted to write him but he no address and heard her mother's voice in her head that said it was not right for the girl to write first. But if Caleb had left an address Emmy would have written despite what society said. She filled countless pages with words she had wanted to say about how much he missed him, how her heart ached every time she thought of him and she thought of him all the time. Everything  reminded her of him the sofa she used to love to sit in was the sofa he laid her in when he rescued her. Every time it rained she thought of him and the day she met him and her copy of Mansfield Park she was reading the day he found her in the woods she hadn't touched it since he left. She really hadn't done much of anything since he left except for sink deeper into sadness.

            Probably the person who hurt more than Emmy was Fiona. She could do nothing for Emmy but watch her sink. Fiona knew there was nothing she could do for a broken heart, it was only a matter of time, but a  first love sticks with you always. It sticks with you because it is the first time you open your heart and it never really closes after that. Fiona knew this pain she still felt it a bit each day, sometimes that pain made it hard to get up in the morning and other days it barely struck her. But she knew the pain and as much as Fiona wanted to rescue Emmy from the pain she knew she couldn't. It is the hardship of being a mother, Fiona thought.

            "Can I come in?" Fiona knocked on Laurel's door one night after everyone had went to bed.

            "Of course mother. Is something the matter?"

            "Yes. I am concerned about your sister Emmy, we all see her withering away and I know Miss James has tried to convince you to go to Boston but I would like you to consider it for Emmy's sake."

            "Why? What good will it do?"

            "A new scene, a new town, it might help distract her. I can't watch my daughter suffer so and think there is an option out there. You can stay with Aunt Iris and spend the days going out with Miss James, go to some partied or a ball and meet some more people."

            "You just want her to run into Mr. James again."

            "No, but would it be so bad if she did. I saw them together I believe he loves her, something must have happened to scare him."

            "Mother we hardly know him. I don't know why you are throwing Emmy at him."

            "I have to help my daughter, it is what mothers do."

            "Like you helped me!" Laurel couldn't hold it in anymore.

            "What? What do you mean?" Fiona said softly pulling herself closer to Laurel and placing her soft hands on Laurel's pulled up her knees.

            "Mr. Foster went away and no one comforted me. We all hoped he would propose and when he went away and I get no sympathy, no trips talked about, nothing."

            "Oh my dear I am sorry. You never seemed that hurt."

            "I have a heart too and it breaks just as easily as Emmy's but no one notices because this whole household was too busy falling in love with Miss James and Mr. Caleb James. No one noticed my eyes were red because I cried every night for weeks. I carried, I carry a deep pain too but because everyone thinks of I am strong no one notices."

            "Oh my dear girl," Fiona threw her arms around her daughter.

            "No mother don't give me your sympathy now," like that Laurel had closed herself off again.

            Fiona could sense it but she couldn't let go of her daughter. How could she have been so blind to her own daughter's suffering? How could she have been so ignorant of it all this time?

            "All right mother as soon our family leave you can make the plans with Aunt Iris to send us off to Boston. Maybe it will be good both your daughters can forget about the men that broke our hearts this summer."

            Fiona wanted to burst and cry out then but could tell her daughter would then but could tell her daughter would not receive it. So she wiped off the tears that get up and left. Before she left the room she looked back at Laurel who had straightened back out her legs and just stared at the book she had been reading.

            "I am sorry I was so blind Laurel," Fiona whispered by in the quietness of the room Laurel could hear her.

            "It is all right, I am strong remember."

            Fiona closed the door but didn't move for awhile.

            "Mother," Gloria's soft came out of the quietness like a soft bird chirp "is everything all right? I heard you and Laurel, you sounded sad."

           

            "Everything is all right," she turned around looked at her youngest, though Gloria came to her shoulders she knelt down so Gloria had to look down to see into her eyes. "Promise me Gloria no matter how strong you are that you let me know when you are heartbroken."

            "If you are not all right, please tell me."

            "Yes mother."

            "Promise me," Fiona's voice quivered.

            "Yes mother, I promise"."

            "Thank you," Fiona threw her arms around her and pulled her close. She couldn't hold back her tears anymore and she unleashed them all on Gloria's shoulder.

            "Mother are you sure you are all right."

            "No," she said when she was able to speak again."But I will be."

            Fiona stood up kissed Gloria's forehead and wished her a good night.